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In spring and summer of 2024, 158 women who had taken a stand at work by lodging a complaint or filing a lawsuit answered our survey to describe their experiences during and after they took these specific actions.
The survey did not include women who simply left or “quiet quit” without lodging a complaint.
We funded the study ourselves. For Leslie, this was to find context for her own experiences filing a lawsuit against her company, and for Michele it was a continuation of her well-known research around gender in the workplace. We called it the Silent Sisterhood because many women sign agreements that prevent them from speaking about their experiences openly.
Below are highlights from the survey results.
With gratitude to the women who responded to the survey, and to those who helped us create and promote it.
Dr. Michele Madansky
Leslie
Hansen
What Does “Taking Action” Mean?
We define taking action by lodging a complaint as everything from making a formal complaint to HR, retaining a lawyer, filing a complaint with an agency such as the EEOC, or filing a lawsuit.
The complaints lodged by respondents were often multi-pronged and included:
Hostile work environment
Sexual harassment or assault
Discrimination based on gender, age, race, sexual orientation, religion, political belief, disability, medical diagnosis, pregnancy, parental status
Wrongful termination
Failure to promote, pay inequity
Consequences
Based on survey responses, there are serious personal consequences when women lodge complaints at work.
Blowback
55% experienced retaliation from their employer
Isolation
49% experienced social isolation from former colleagues
Only 36% received support from family and friends
“I didn’t tell anyone so my experience remained silent.”
Emotional Impact
The emotional impact on women who lodged complaints was a strong and pervasive theme through their responses and personal comments. Anxiety, fear and depression were the top emotions felt after taking action. However, there were some positive emotions experienced as well. One in five felt relief, and 12% had an increased sense of self-esteem after taking action.
Women also commented that they experienced fear, anger, rage, frustration, disappointment, disbelief, and shame. Three respondents reported having PTSD.
Emotions felt after filing complaint/lawsuit
Career Impact
When asked about the career impact of lodging their complaints, women’s answers were mixed.
Many women believed that the impact was negative, including reputational harm, negative financial impact, and more than a handful felt forced to change industries all together.
Several responded that they didn’t know the impact, or it was too early to tell. A few women reported having better jobs or being happier now.
“A black mark on my employment record.”
“It ended my career in my chosen field, for which I had professionally killed myself for decades.”
“Destroyed it.”
“It helped get me back in the workforce and a better position with better pay.”
Outcomes of Lodging Complaint to HR
The personal cost of lodging a complaint or filing a lawsuit was shown to be high and negative. What outcomes did they achieve?
For those who lodged a complaint to HR, just over half of the respondents’ complaints reported were unresolved, either because they were still pending, or because the issue went unaddressed.
1 in 4 complaints to HR resulted in termination of employment.
1 in 3 women stated that their issues were resolved either through HR/employer, mediation or lawyer negotiation.
Some of the “other outcomes” mentioned included receiving a formal apology, having perpetrators fired and nothing changing.
Outcome of the complaint
Lawsuit Outcomes
For those who filed lawsuits, 67% were settled before trial, 14% were dismissed, 3% went to trial, and others are still pending or were settled through arbitration.
Fairness
75% of women rated the outcome of their complaint/lawsuit as somewhat unfair or not at all fair.
“I felt pressured to settle.”
25% rated the outcome as either very fair or somewhat fair.
“The outcome was fair, but it was upsetting to know that it took filing a complaint to see action.”
NDAs and Non-Disparagement Clauses Protect Companies
For those who said their matter was resolved:
64% signed a non-disclosure agreement
44% signed a non-disparagement agreement
Signing these terms had mixed impact on respondents, with some reporting that they felt relief to have it over with. Women also reported feeling pressured to sign, and regret or harm.
“I do not own my own story.”
“I was so broken I couldn’t even process what was happening.”
“I had to sign in order to receive severance.”
“In practice, no [impact] at all, but emotionally fucked me over.”
Advice For Other Women
To Take a Stand or Not?
Despite the blowback, isolation, and other negative consequences of lodging a complaint or filing a lawsuit, when asked their advice to other women, the largest group of respondents encouraged other women to take a stand.
They said things like:
“Be strong and do it for yourself and as an example for others. It is important to break the silence in all of this.”
“Go for it! But know it’s a terrible experience.”
Others advised caution:
“Understand the impact this will have on your career trajectory.”
“Think about the costs vs. what you want to achieve.”
A smaller number discouraged others from taking a stand:
“Don’t bother. Just find another job.”
“It’s thankless.”
Practical Advice
Many women gave practical advice for anyone lodging a complaint or filing a lawsuit. The top two pieces of advice were to document everything and to be prepared for a difficult experience.
“Make sure you have a sympathetic lawyer and a lot of family and friend support and are prepared for it to be emotionally and financially draining.”
“Document everything, seek counseling to help through the very arduous/ stressful process.”
“Surround yourself with a support system and lawyer team that can advocate for you and cheer you on.”
Others advised to be wary of HR, and not to sign non-disclosure agreements.
“Don’t sign the non-disclosure agreement. Speaking your truth is more valuable than cash payout.”
“Remember that HR protects the company, not you.”
Summary
This survey makes visible the price paid by women who take a stand for themselves at work.
We have anti-discrimination laws. The enforcement of these laws pits individual women against corporations who treat their complaints as a threat. The blowback and costs to women financially, emotionally, and mental health-wise are massive, and all this to achieve mostly unsatisfactory results.
We need to do better.
Some Good News - Legislative Changes
There has been progress in the last few years. Several states have passed transparency laws, and some states have enacted bans on non-disclosure agreements in cases involving sexual harassment and discrimination. However these bans do not always apply if the complainant has received a settlement.
At the federal level, The National Labor Relations Board has also ruled that non-disparagement clauses are illegal in many employment and severance agreements, and has said that this applies retroactively to older employment agreements.
In addition, the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act and the PUMP act were both passed into law in 2023, providing reasonable accommodations for pregnant, post-partum, and nursing employees.
In 2022 both the Speak Out Act and the Ending Forced Arbitration of Sexual Assault and Sexual Harrassment Act were signed into law, ending the validity of non-disclosure and non-disparagement agreements entered into before an employee has filed a legal claim involving sexual assault or discrimination, and the invalidating forced arbitration clauses in cases of sexual assault and harassment.
These laws do not change the fact that women still need to stand up for their rights in the workplace and ensure that these laws are enforced.
For more information, email us at info@silentsisterhood.com
